Monday, January 24, 2011
Logosimi can snuff out all enthusiasm, will cast dispersions on our brother while casting a huge shadow of doubt. True psychic pain, feels like saddness, desperation, ineptitude and loss.
Moments become extended periods which result in years where we feel cloaked in failure. There is a paranoia which affixes itself to the schema of the mind systematically and efficiently eats away at self-worth and confidence.
Every event needlessly becomes a litmus test of God's interest and concern, our perceived ability, credibility and self-worth. Ironically most 'events' do not confirm or deny, correspond or correlate whatever with our real or imagined internal or cosmic struggle.
This artificial testing ground become fertile soil for insecurity, self-doubt, dissatisfaction, isolation and rejection. Anticipatory anxiety feeds the beast stealing even moments of reprieve which later only seem to mock hope. Feelings of dejection snowball and anxiety flourishes. By definition anxiety is a free floating fear which has no root, is irrational, having no place and yet expelling it from the garden of our hearts is virtually impossible.
We become the Emperor with our 'new clothes'. Rashly discarding our competence, confidence and unique skill set for neurosis which is keenly aware of the snickering, murmuring and ridicule. We become darkened and sullied, devoid of skill and without accolades.