the omnipresence of God and alienation

This theme has been surfacing a lot during Lent. The conviction on the omnipresence of God is a deep consolation and abiding comfort which often can only be understood as an act of faith as it were. There are times when we all have an inability to relate, connect or feel imbued with His presence even during a formal service. While discipleship is a constant goal in life it can be derailed only by my own ineptitude or fatigue. I am learning in praxis the value of vigils and fasts but am grossly lazy.

God is everywhere and fillest all things at all times TRUE but it is in relation to His nature and not mine. He is inaccessible at times because I am unable to find Him within me buried beneath shortsightedness and sin. Prayer fatigue or attention deficit disorder of the major kind. So far removed from my original state that I could confuse this detachment as part of my true nature. This is a very common condition which is why I share it in this forum. I don't find it rational to pressume that talking aloud to God in my car that I am actually connecting with God. it seems more like a talking to myself in fact to think otherwise seems anthropocentric (and delusional) as if God exists in relation to me. I see God around me but not in me always. To experience and acknowledge these thoughts of  alienation is to begin to persue a prayerful watch. I try to attach myself to Him and dedicate myself to His church but I don't feel Him in the objective sense as readily as I would like. I have come to believe that there is a distinction between a preoccupation and a relationship. Now I think I know that prayer is not by nature emotive but from whence comes the confirmation that I have indeed gone out to meet Him? This is not about doubt it is about process.

Prayer A Divine Call And The Human Response

This blog is not written or hosted by a person of note or spiritual dynamism. I am simply a pilgrim on the way to the Savior. I am one of many journeymen being transformed by prayer and for moments re-joining the heavenly hosts in their natural state and transcendent ministry. "Let us who mystically represent the Cherubim. And who sing the Thrice Holy hymn...".

Prayer is the single most powerful tool and state of being. It need not be complicated but it is not easy and yet it is simple. Pray is not tame and cannot be man handled as it were. It contains within it its very own essence and structure and is not dependant on the human 'feeling'  anything or experiencing objectively 'a difference'. In this way it is very much an act of faith.

Through prayer our sorrow is eased, our sadness lifted, our hopelessness relieved. By answering the call to prayer from God we become receptive to the absolute transformative power of the Almighty no matter how imperceptible it may appear. We cannot be in the presence of God and not be changed that is logical and to believe otherwise is irrational. Without God's intervention our own effort is futile.

Although there is no outward tangible gain from prayer the renewal and transformative reshaping of our sinful state is taking place. All prayers for the beginner are "give me" prayers. And as a collective church we are compelled to pray for one another. It is our duty to intercede and make our supplications individually for one another that we should "bear one anothers burdens".

Prayer is the Mystical relationship the perpetual calling of God of us back to Paradise to our perfected state. The most basic form of prayer is our outward response our hearing and heeding that call. According to Matthew the Poor "Prayer then has two forms: a perpetual, vague urge, and an open, intermittent response. In both its forms together, prayer is made whole as a divine-human action a call and a response".

Church Attendance the Holistic Way

Holistic Church participation can be explained in the most concise term Orthopraxis. The unfortunate truth is that too many approach their Orthodox Faith and perhaps Christianity in broader terms by limiting their focus and attention to compulsory Church attendance. This nominal Christianity is tragic and a rejection of the profession of Faith.

This attitude is encouraged by a society which misrepresents secularism as a twisted protection of Religios Freedom. This secularism is actually a demand of freedom FROM religion and relegates ones religiosity as it where to Sunday mornings. The public square which wishes to openly acknowledge homosexuals insists on closeting people of Faith; particularly everything Christian. As dutiful citizens we accept this without reservation and compartmentalize the implications of our Faith. If Orthodoxy does not midigate our path we have failed. We banish every extension or integration of Church life into our actual living; and chop off every sprout or fruit of the Spirit. We hide our Faith where we can scarcely find it to dust it off for Sunday service.

To live holistically we can only find true meaning by embracing our Church as a fundamental member of our very being. We must consider and have within and before us, the Church and the Way. An holistic approach to Orthodoxy understands that we are to concern ourselves with the long effort of returning to the true order of things as it were. We must consider the other 22 hours in our Sundays and each and every hour and other day between services. If we fail to do this good work of bearing fruit and shining forth we are Christian only in name and have replaced our self identification of Orthodox Christian with nominal christian.

Church services are training sessions or like time spent at the gym. Our training doesn't end when we stop our workout actually it only begins there. Our diet, mindset and activity all affect your Christian living (Orthopraxis). It may seem a dense point but there is holism to Church to Orthodoxy itself. The Orthodox method is the 'correct' intervention for what ails the soul. Take another approach and naturally the intervention is changed and the cure further removed.

Unfortunately too many believers will affirm that only the monastics can fully apply Christian standards of prayer and fasting to their lives. This is not true. Living in the world is challenging in obvious ways but we are given in marriage to find our helpmate and together we join with our Church Whose sole purpose is to prepare, to heal and to serve the Faithful spiritual nourishment for the long journey. 

Dismissiveness Fasting and Misery

Dismissiveness will not assist on our journey to unity and integration with God. To dismiss the benefits of fasting for example as a ritualistic, archaic practice without any practical benefit aside from dietary adjustments, is fool hearty. Generally those who would function from this posture have not bowed their head in repentance or inclined their hearts to humility. Only those who are well on their journey homeward understand the benefit of self control and denial of what is natural. I believe the surest solution is to fast to simply practice the fasts as prescribed and wait and watch. It will not be possible to change something as central to a person as eating and not experience a change in mind, body and spirit.

To have a "know all" and then cavalier attitude toward the tools of the Church is to demonstrate complete ignorance and unwillingness to apply what is painfully clear to those who have begun and are well on the road to illumination. Oddly enough it is generally the loudest protesters and first to point to hypocritically at others, who is most miserable and alone in their knowledge of misery.

A Christian Must Not Be Fanatic Elder Paisios the Athonite

Elder Paisios the Athonite

A Christian must not be fanatic; he must have love for and be sensitive towards all people. Those who inconsiderately toss out comments, even if they are true, can cause harm.

I once met a theologian who was extremely pious, but who had the habit of speaking to the (secular) people around him in a very blunt manner; his method penetrated so deeply that it shook them very severely. He told me once: “During a gathering, I said such and such a thing to a lady.” But the way that he said it, crushed her. “Look”, I said to him, “you may be tossing golden crowns studded with diamonds to other people, but the way that you throw them can smash heads, not only the sensitive ones, but the sound ones also.”

Let’s not stone our fellow-man in a so-called “Christian manner.” The person who – in the presence of others – checks someone for having sinned (or speaks in an impassioned manner about a certain person), is not moved by the Spirit of God; he is moved by another spirit.

The way of the Church is LOVE; it differs from the way of the legalists. The Church sees everything with tolerance and seeks to help each person, whatever he may have done, however sinful he may be.

I have observed a peculiar kind of logic in certain pious people. Their piety is a good thing, and their predisposition for good is also a good thing; however, a certain spiritual discernment and amplitude is required so that their piety is not accompanied by narrow-mindedness or strong-headedness. Someone who is truly in a spiritual state must possess and exemplify spiritual discernment; otherwise he will forever remain attached to the “letter of the Law”, and the letter of the Law can be quite deadly.

A truly humble person never behaves like a teacher; he will listen, and, whenever his opinion is requested, he responds humbly. In other words, he replies like a student. He who believes that he is capable of correcting others is filled with egotism.

A person that begins to do something with a good intention and eventually reaches an extreme point, lacks true discernment. His actions exemplify a latent type of egotism that is hidden beneath this behavior; he is unaware of it, because he does not know himself that well, which is why he goes to extremes.

Conflict Resolution Rules of Engagement (marriage)

Relationships all have defined rules of engagement. There are clear boundaries and expectations in every relationship professional or personal. When such criteria are dismissed or violated it is a game changer and perhaps a deal breaker. Steal at the office and you find yourself vamping up your resume. Mistreat friends and you'll find yourself in a very exclusive club. Abuse your family and shop the real estate market for the neighborhood adult living facility. Leave the Church and poison your being.

The most gratifying and meaningful relationships are intimate and the ability to engage in a healthy  dyad (triad, familial system,...) is not natural and requires a skill set not always obvious. This is painfully obvious between most in-laws. The road map to relationships which enhance the quality of life require rules and strategic plans. Respect, trust, goodwill and honesty are key ingredients to any full long lasting mutually satisfying relationship.  Undermine these principles and the relationship will steadily grow in toxicity.

I personally maintain specific rules of engagement with all my relationships including the most casual encounter. I expect my grocer not to change the 'sell by' date for example. Because people are not generally honest there are regulations which secular institutions enforce. Likewise the more personal the relationship the more vital those principles because regulations are only in place to deal with the most obsene circumstance. The emotional scarring of even the most casual encounter can be debilitating.

Resolving disappointment and unfulfilled expectations can only be accomplished when ideally all parties are acting in good faith. A company which sells an inferior product must be willing to honor warranties and be willing to address liability where applicable. Likewise the public trust cannot be betrayed with poisonous products or unfair legal systems. A friendship which may dissolve obruptly can be done respectfully and honestly. If one party feels rejected and refuses to concede the relationship or the terms of its dissolution it can erode self esteem and quality of life. If said party is unwilling or unable to accept the reality, it can lead to obsessiveness and irrational behavior. In a marriage each spouse must believe regardless of argument particulars that the other in the end is not out to disparage or hurt the other. Children must accept in principle that their parents have their interest in mind even if it fails to appeal to their limited understanding.

Discourse can be robust and full of opposition but it must be fair and respectful of the humanity of the other party, person or persons. This is a Christian ideal because even in disagreement and vehement opposition, the humanity of the other is never demeaned; thereby respecting the image and likeness of God. I respond harshly when the rules of engagement are ignored or dismissed. I have zero tolerance for violence or the perceived aggression toward my family. Intent is difficult to gauge and is irrelavent in public circles for the most part but in the private sector is can be the be all and end all.

The Bridge of Dreams

The bridge of dreams is the stuff of youthful fairy tails. When did my robust 'can do' attitude toward living begin to recede. When did I get so old. What has really changed perhaps only the clarity with which I percieve. Where my dreams just the naivite of adolescence? I requires a lifetime to carve out a proper place. My end point is Christ the Rock of my salvation but I have yet to find my thrust my proweness I am but an other. Did I get a reality check suddenly learning the true limits of my ability. Is my mediocrity boundless; my tranfigurment disfiguring? When I was young starting out everything seemed possible; life was still giving; still making room for me to make my mark. Now it seems that loss is more likely; expected even. My ordinary life has become representative of a gross neglect or complete incompetance. Sadly I am only half the woman I thought myself to be. I used to believe that I was an ego maniac with a serious inferiority complex and now I realize that I am simply inferior. I was deluded by my own concete.
To percieve the futility of ambition is growth. But is it a deranged maligancy or epiphany.